Bob Ellal

Life is a balance scale: You have to take the good with the bad, and one would hope the scales would tip in your favor.

For a while, I thought the Devil had his thumb on the scale. True, I had survived my four bouts of cancer that had dogged me for seven years. But my wife divorced me, and I had to survive on a couple of disability checks—and pay child support.

Why not get a job? I tried, many times. I had experience as a writer in publishing and in the corporate world. But I found out that interviewers just don’t want to hire someone with cancer in his background and a ten-year gap in his resume.

I was struggling financially and got into trouble with the credit card companies. I was being treated for depression, and hadn’t quite gotten over the post traumatic stress disorder from facing down cancer so many times (see article ‘Post Traumatic Stress’).

I had lost my marriage, my career, my house, my retirement—and worst of all, was away from my two sons. And yes, I missed my two Great Danes. I started feeling very sorry for myself.

Over time, I have come to realize how extraordinarily lucky I am. I survived supposedly terminal cancer—and fought it off four times, enduring the horror of two bone marrow transplants. My sons love and respect me; both have told me that they look up to me for taking on the cancer and refusing to quit. Both my sons are healthy; the older, Geoff is in Special Forces; the younger, Dylan is honing his amazing artistic gifts at an elite art college.

I survived to be a father to my sons, coaching their sports teams, helping them with their homework, and playing games with them and their friends.

Life is still a struggle financially; but in this economy that is the norm for many people.

In the human balance, I am way ahead. Sometimes survival is a lot like virtue.