Courage—Are You a Method Actor or a Character Actor?
Friends and people I’ve met who have heard my story about beating bone cancer four times often ask me “How could you be so courageous? You must be very strong.”
I’ve pondered that over the last 13 years since I finally beat the disease. I’m reminded of the two different types of actors: method actors and character actors. Method actors approach a role by going deeply into themselves and finding the necessary emotions to actually live the part—from the inside out. Character actors practice the lines a playwright has written, gradually absorbing the attributes of a character—from the outside in. The first is more internal; the second, external.
For me, finding my courage took a bit of both practices. When diagnosed, after a day of shock, fear and panic, I found my courage to confront the cancer. This probably was my nature, honed by playing football and years of hard-style martial arts training. I went on the offensive, immersing myself in the mind/body connection—meditation and visualization—and initially beat the disease.
But then the cancer came back—three times. And I had to endure the body-insulting and soul-numbing procedure known as a bone-marrow transplant—twice. As my ex-wife once said “Anyone can go through something hard once.” And she was spot on.
Anyone can get worn down, and I’m certainly no different. I began this cancer journey as a method actor, finding the courage to confront it within myself. As time went on, and the cancer continued to relapse, I had to look outside myself to maintain my courage.
Learning qigong—sophisticated, but simple, Chinese internal energy exercises—allowed me to outwardly practice and eventually replenish my courage. But I also looked back to my ancestors, for inspiration. I read the fifth-century English epic poem Beowulf, about a man of superhuman strength who had to defeat monsters—and continuously test himself. I also immersed myself in Shakespeare’s Henry V, learning by heart Henry’s rousing speech before the battle of Agincourt, when the English were outnumbered five-to-one (“We few, we happy few, we band of brothers…”).
I became a character actor, to help replenish my stores of courage. And I realized I always had to appear strong to my wife and sons. How would they feel if I allowed myself to be weak? Couldn’t have that. Even if I failed, I was going to go down fighting. You owe that to your family.
Marlon Brando—method actor. Sir Laurence Olivier—character actor. No one has cornered the market on how to approach life.